No, Wait…

So, this is what it was? A fucking waste of time.
Mind you, I’ve grown enough to stare at your lifeless eyes
You clumsy little dear, you’ve left your knife in me,
Don’t mind my glide ‘coz I want to free fall.

Was it the care I showed or the love I soaked you in
While falling apart?
Or maybe was it the songs I wrote or the ghost I’ve become
Just to give you my goddamn heart?
Or was my usual stubborn way to throw myself
In the same mistakes I keep saying I learn from?
Or was that just the way you like to play? Oh, well,
I’m over it today, no, wait, I’d fucking slice your head off!

So, this is heaven, huh? I haven’t planned
Quite anything as I’ve always managed
To dream about it with you around me
And this fucking quiet is quite astounding.
Rewind to a while back: was it always hell?
Why did I always cry only when you laughed?
Why d’you never left when I asked but left
When I fell and couldn’t catch my breath?
Then, bless the mess you wrapped and gave me,
It’s thanks to that that I learned to save me
Before these wounds turned out to be deadly;
See the walls? I’ve hanged your painting
And pity me, dear poison ivy,
I’m off my head on whisky and rhymes
I’m over, done and feeling kind
So pack your shit, fuck off tonight.