Loser

I’m holding to everything that I actually love
When it’s tiring to say I need a hand to reach for me now
For I’m stupidly proud of what looks like a fall
Clutched to bags of wasted words and pointless lullabies.

I’m holding on to everyone I hurt and stabbed
Asking for forgiveness, only this time I mean it
As I’m exhausted of the scorching pillow in my frozen bed
As I’m cutting a narrow way out of the hell I’ve forced me in

But what’s the point of that?
Why do I even sing it aloud?
Why can’t I find a better reason to get back to you?
I’ll bite back every grain of faith
To promise with a frown
That I’ll never leave your hand
‘til we’re both happy underground.

I’m watching as the consequences tear me right apart
I’m standing like a lighthouse built off bricks of guilt and lies
And I’m learning to accept that maybe I ain’t fit to bear a heart
Although I can’t let this all die for I’ve never been alive.

I’m sorry I’m just a loser, probably I’m just too young
And too in love with made up misery to appreciate heaven
And still so goddamn proud of every whine we sung,
Remember when a couple of hours felt like two forevers?

But what’s the point of that?
Why am I even writing this now?
Why can’t I find a better way to get back to you?
I’ll bite back every grain of faith
To promise with a frown
That I’ll never leave your hand
‘til we’re both happy underground.

But what’s the point of that?
When will we sing this aloud?
Why can’t I find a simple way to get over you?
I’ll bite my tongue, accept my fate
And promise with a frown
That I’ll never leave your hand
‘til we’re both happy underground.